Thursday, October 8, 2015

On not sweating the small stuff

Motherhood is hard guys.

We all have good and bad days, but when you're a mom, the bad days can seem like enormous failures. I didn't realize until recently that I put some pretty ridiculous expectations on myself and often set myself up for failure, and then I take it really hard when I don't have a "supermom" day. Being a stay at home mom is a rough job most of the time, and I'm constantly plagued by the whole not-doing-enough/doing-too-much internal war with myself. I often find myself stressed out, making insanely long to-do lists, and running around like a crazy person with all of these "things" I just have to finish before the end of the day.


Once I get an idea in my head though, I can't not follow through with it. If I made my list in the morning and decided that I was going to clean the kitchen spotless before the kids get home, by-golly, that kitchen had better be sparkling before my kiddos stroll in through the door. If it's not? Well, I tend to morph into Hulk-Smash mode and beat myself up over it- which makes my entire day shot. My mood goes to crap and I turn into a mean mom and wife who takes out her frustration on everyone else. No matter how much I accomplished earlier in the day- 3 loads of laundry, yard mowed, garden weeded, living room cleaned up, beds made, and both bathrooms scrubbed clean...if I don't get that last little task done on my list before the deadline I set for myself, the whole day was a waste. It's like everything else I did doesn't matter. I failed. I didn't do what I said I was going to do. I didn't finish my list.

The truth is, I don't have to do much of anything, if I don't want to. Sure, there are menial tasks that should be done on a regular basis around here- dishes, laundry, dusting (yeah right), vacuuming, etc. But is the world going to end if I don't get the dishwasher emptied by a certain time? Nope.

I've realized that I put too much pressure on myself as a stay at home mom, and I know a lot of my other mom friends do as well. We don't give ourselves enough credit, and we definitely don't celebrate those small accomplishments enough. Instead of being pissed off and disappointed at myself for not getting the dishwasher unloaded, I should be celebrating in the fact that I spent an hour on the floor with my sweet 14 month old girl, rolling around, playing blocks, laughing and singing along to Sesame Street or Daniel Tiger, helping her discover her stinky little toes, squishing her pudgy little rolls, and smothering her with kisses. Then I fed her lunch and every bite actually made it into her mouth- she didn't throw it on the ground (a really fun game we've been playing lately). After that, she went down for a nap with no argument and slept for 3 glorious hours while I sweat my butt off, hustling as fast as I could to clean up a mess of a house that was created by 5 humans.

That's right- 5 people live in this house, and I need to remember that. You can probably guess how many of them do the household chores (that would be me)...so all things considered, I really should give myself more credit! Throw blogging and everything that comes along with it, kids, a husband, homework, chores, errands, church, cooking, social lives, etc., and I realize that maybe I should cut myself some slack. Seriously, I should not be sweating the whole dishwasher/Hulk Smash fiasco. The dishes can wait! This little cutie can't. I should spend less time freaking out over my crazy lady lists and try to enjoy my time at home a little bit more.


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